Last month, I went to Memphis, Tn for their annual'Memphis in May Barbecue Fest.' If you've never been to Barbecue Fest, you should. Picture 300 Keg Parties - all complete with fine music, even finer woman, and some of the best Barbecue you've ever put in your mouth.On the Thursday-of, we went out early. It was hot - real hot - so my cousin left his girlfriend, Suzanne, and me to wait in the shade while he went to fetch us some frozen drinks. Suzanne, her and I just beyond the weather-talk stage, said "We're gonna have to walk back to the hotel before tonight. I'm gonna have to take a shower, change clothes, change socks..." I interrupted instinctively, "Change your Balls." When my cousin returned we all laughed profusely then and throughout the rest of the trip.
Though I didn't realize it then, the statement "Change Your Balls" can be very deep, a bit discomforting (ha), and, perhaps even, inspiring.
About five years ago I created a "secret" word with myself - Fearless Facade. (The word, still in my vocabulary, is on my Fixinta list so it may show up on here at some point.) A man's Fearless Facade is the outer layer that he (or she) wears when he is uncomfortable or anxious or scared. Under this cloak he can mingle with Cake-Eaters at coaster-parties and can comfortable take prospective clients out to lunch. I feel that, to some extent, we all have a fearless facade that we occasionally slip on. We incognitoedly wear it like the magic sunglasses that Julian wears in the movie "Big Daddy." My fearless facade is a lightly smug, partially cocky, sarcastically laugh-at-himself-funny persona. Thinking back, there were phases in my life (like High School) where I rarely took the mask off. Thinking forward, there has got to be a better way.
On Monday, June 8, 2009, at about 8:21 A.M., I was fired (technically put, "laid off") from my JOB as a Project Manager for an industrial construction company. I have a mind to present a pretty good see-what-had-happened-was story about the events that lead to my Walking Papers acceptance, but I won't do it. It doesn't matter. I was boredly employed in a mediocre job; now I am not.
Being that I got the heads-up that what went down was going to be going down two weeks ago today, the contents of the 8:21 conversation with our President came to me lacking surprise. I was ready with a good "C-mon man" response, but he didn't ask me for one. Since the day (two weeks ago today) that I found out about my to-be-firing, I've been flipping through the closet of my personality for that all-too-familiar, fearless, incognito robe. The only problem was, the skin that I searched for didn't seem to fit as well as it had in high school.
Though I didn't realize it then, the statement "Change Your Balls" can be very deep, a bit discomforting (ha), and, perhaps even, inspiring.
About five years ago I created a "secret" word with myself - Fearless Facade. (The word, still in my vocabulary, is on my Fixinta list so it may show up on here at some point.) A man's Fearless Facade is the outer layer that he (or she) wears when he is uncomfortable or anxious or scared. Under this cloak he can mingle with Cake-Eaters at coaster-parties and can comfortable take prospective clients out to lunch. I feel that, to some extent, we all have a fearless facade that we occasionally slip on. We incognitoedly wear it like the magic sunglasses that Julian wears in the movie "Big Daddy." My fearless facade is a lightly smug, partially cocky, sarcastically laugh-at-himself-funny persona. Thinking back, there were phases in my life (like High School) where I rarely took the mask off. Thinking forward, there has got to be a better way.
On Monday, June 8, 2009, at about 8:21 A.M., I was fired (technically put, "laid off") from my JOB as a Project Manager for an industrial construction company. I have a mind to present a pretty good see-what-had-happened-was story about the events that lead to my Walking Papers acceptance, but I won't do it. It doesn't matter. I was boredly employed in a mediocre job; now I am not.
Being that I got the heads-up that what went down was going to be going down two weeks ago today, the contents of the 8:21 conversation with our President came to me lacking surprise. I was ready with a good "C-mon man" response, but he didn't ask me for one. Since the day (two weeks ago today) that I found out about my to-be-firing, I've been flipping through the closet of my personality for that all-too-familiar, fearless, incognito robe. The only problem was, the skin that I searched for didn't seem to fit as well as it had in high school.
How can one, while sipping a Crown-drink at an after-work networking event, arrogantly say "I'm unemployed." I guess I could say that with an enunciatedly deep voice and a cocky / humorous aire and get a laugh or two, but ultimately, when the day is done and the party is over, I am either (whether employed or unemployed) going to forced to look at one man in the mirror. How can I ensure that I like who I see?
As if putting on a fitted hat a year after losing it in the garage, my Fearless Facade just didn't seem to be comfortable any more. What can I do? I could drown my sorrows in a sea of rum and CoorsLight. I could apply for unemployment.
On Monday night, I can honestly say that I was sporting my whoa-is-me-little-girl-Balls. Recurring questions like "What am I gonna do" kept playing in my mind like someone pressed the repeat button. On Tuesday night, I occasionally itched at my Tow-up-from-the-flo-up-cause-I-don't-know-whats-up-Balls. Today, I have been after it since the A.M. I put the finishing touches on my Resume, contacted a head hunter, signed in to a few relevant job-search websites, and was fortunate enough to have a friend contact a fellow alumnist about a new opportunity. Today, I'm wearing my Bad-Ass-Mother-Fucker-Balls. I am sucking it up getting back out there. Changing, this time, what lies within in an effort to produce a new career, a new life, that most accurately reflects who I am and so what I want to become.
All too often, we are all too quick to throw a mask over the dreary and the mundane. All too often, we change our face in lieu of our attitude. I will introspectively search myself for my next, best move. I will outrospectively search for the opportunities that are available. If you know of any, hollar at me. From my end, I'll keep you posted and I'll leave you with the daily quote from my Franklin Covey planner from the day immediately following the day I found out I'd be canned.“You may not realize it when it happens, but a kick in the teeth may be the best thing in the world for you. – Walt Disney”
Optimism is the only way,
Change Your Balls,
Do More Now
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